ARE YOU A HELICOPTER PARENT?

07 September, 2019 (Consolace Counselling Services)

Signs of Helicopter Parenting

Parenting is indeed a difficult job. You slightly overdo it and you fail terribly at it. There is a thin line between being an involved parent and a hovering parent. Many of us fail at discovering this thin line and that's probably what makes us fail at parenting. We all love our kids and strive to provide them with the best. Love and care plays a vital role in a child's growth. But, are you becoming a helicopter parent while showering your love and care on kids? If yes, then here's what you need to know about helicopter parenting.

Signs that you are a hovering parent:

Keeping track of your kids' life is important for a parent but it should not be done in a way that you constantly hover over their heads. Take note of the following signs to know if you have unknowingly become a helicopter parent.

● Your child has 'zero alone time': Sit back and have a look at your child's life. Is your kid having his/her alone time? Is your child allowed to do things on his/her own? If no, then you are definitely overdoing it. Providing your child with 'zero alone time' is a sign of helicopter parenting.

● You decide everything for your child: When you decide everything for your child leaving them with no say in their own life, you have become a helicopter parent. For example, you decide your child's friends, you decide what subjects your child should study, you decide what your child should become in future. Basically, you decide on every minor thing related to your child's life. This can give your child a feeling of being overcontrolled which would in turn deteriorate  the parent-child relationship. Be quick in realising this sign and find ways to avoid being a helicopter parent.

● Not giving the child a space to grow: There are parents who never let their kids do their homework on their own. Fearing that an incorrect homework would result in a low grade, parents provide unwanted  assistance to kids. They do not allow their kids to learn from their mistakes. By not letting the child to do his/her assignments or projects alone, parents block their kids path to self growth.

How to stop being a helicopter parent?          

I dare not challenge the intentions of a parent as I know that every parent begin their parenthood with good intentions. But sometimes, their good intentions could not help them at good parenting. It is for this reason, it is necessary that parents keep a watch on their own actions. Following are a few ways that will help you avoid helicopter parenting.

Don't be too much worried or anxious about your child's future: It is quite obvious for parents to have their own worries and concerns regarding their child's future. But when you get too much worried or anxious, it reflects adversely in your parenting. Finding ways to keep your worries and anxieties in control is a good way to avoid helicopter parenting.

● Don't impose your interest on your kids: You may want your child to become a doctor or an engineer. But it is not always necessary that the child shares the same interests as yours. Let them choose their own interests. Be involved with them to help them achieve their goals rather than hovering over their heads to impose your interests on them.

● Stop shadowing them: Remember that there will come a time when your child will have to step out of his/her comfort zone to face the real world. At that time, you can't shadow them. They have to step out and achieve things on their own. Hence, parents should be very careful while shadowing their children. You can't cover up for their mistakes, you can't go out and do things on behalf of them for a long time. So, stop shadowing them and instead, guide your child's path towards self-development.

● Give them space: Space is an essential factor in the survival of any relationship. Parents should keep an eye on their children while giving them the space they need. Watch them from a distance, let them take their decisions even if it involves small risks and correct them when they are wrong. Yes, you can take care of your child and love them without hovering of their heads.

Parenthood is a crucial stage where your one wrong step can ruin your relationship with your child. At a time, when you feel like struggling as a parent, it is always good to share your concerns with someone who can help. Don't hesitate to talk to a counsellor. For any counselling related assistance and good parenting tips, you can get in touch with Consolace counselling services in Trivandrum. You are just one right step away from a happier life.


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