They say, “The past is to be learned from, not lived in.” But for many of us, it is easier said than done. Human mind has got this tendency to dwell on the past while planning and worrying for the future. This has been the same throughout the course of human evolution. Forgetting the past and moving on in life is probably the most difficult thing for a human being to do. One may overcome the past, but forgetting the past is where the real challenge lies.
What keeps you stuck in the past?
It is not always the negative thoughts and mistakes that make you dwell on the past. Sometimes, you refuse to move on in life because your experiences in the past were much more fulfilling and pleasant than what you experience in the present. Whatever be the case, continuing to live in the past may lead to serious health consequences in a person's life. Before we start with the ways to move on from the past, let's have a look at few negative emotions that hold us back in the past.
● Regret: It is a feeling so powerful that it can haunt you for over a long period of time. There are many scenarios in which we can see this negative emotion sprouting in our lives. There are people who regret being in a toxic relationship. Some others regret losing a good friendship. At some point of time, teenagers regret failing their parents while parents regret to give their child a good upbringing. There are many more possible scenarios in which we can find ourselves struggling with this emotion called regret. It becomes really hard to move on from regret.
● Fear: An accident, a natural calamity, a death, a failure; it could be anything similar to any of these incidents happened in the past that can generate fear in the minds of people. We try hard to fight our fears but fail to move on from it.
● Anger: Anger is yet another negative emotion which we all struggle with. Our anger will control us and leave us devoid of happiness as long as we refuse to forgive. Anger transforms into hatred which ultimately end up making us frustrated with our own life. It can do more harm to us than the person we are angry at. Anger stops us from recovering from past experiences.
How to forget the past and move on?
The first step towards forgetting the past begins with the realisation that one should ‘keep the past in the past’. Nothing is going to work out until you yourself decide to get a break from the memories of the past so as to enjoy the present moment. Once you make up your mind, you can follow these steps to live the present moment-
● Open up about your past: Many a times, we find ourself caged in the past. The only way we can free ourselves is by expressing the pain and emotional agony that we had undergone in the past. The more you'll keep it to yourself, the more you'll be hurt. Jotting down everything that's been hurting you in a diary, sharing your pain with a close friend, expressing your hurt through art are all possible ways to move on from the past.
● Be in the present: Focus on the present and enjoy the moment is an advice that may sound cliche. Considering the evolutionary tendency of human brain to wander around past, it is indeed difficult to follow this advice. But, with regular practice of mindfulness, one can develop an awareness of the present moment. Gradually, your mind will make peace with the past which will help you in focusing on the present moment by forgetting the past.
● Learn to forgive: You will be a captive of your own emotions as long as you refuse to forgive. Forgiveness will liberate your mind. People often get stuck up in the past because they fail to forgive others for their mistakes. We also keep on cursing ourselves for a mistake we committed in the past. We can move on from the past only when we learn to forgive others as well as ourselves.
● Meditation and Yoga: Physical health is directly proportional to mental health. Those who are not ready to forget the past suffer from various mental health issues like stress, anxiety, frustration, depression and much more. All these have a direct impact on the physical health of an individual. Meditation and yoga will help you become both mentally and physically fit.. However, regular and focused practice of meditation and yoga is important to see the positive results. Yoga and meditation centres in Trivandrum can help you with this task but, don't expect for a miracle to happen in a blink of an eye.
Consolace Counselling Services in Trivandrum is always ready to help you come out of your haunting past so that you can live your life to the fullest. For any queries and assistance, feel free to contact us.