Premarital counselling is a lot better than marital conflicts, family breakdowns and divorce.If you are preparing to get married in the near future, premarital counselling will help you. Be prepared for the unexpected events that can throw you off balance. Be prepared for the events, and troubles that make you lose control, create tensions and escalate conflicts.
The Unmistakable Advantages of Premarital Counselling
It is a myth that your marriage life will be 100% love, without conflicts and without troubles. Such a scene will happen only in your mind and that too before marriage.
Once you get married, and once you start seeing realities face to face, you will know that your thoughts were not wholesome. You saw a lot of positives, without considering the negatives.
You don't think about the problems like conflicts, differences in values, and expectations. Know your own values. Get a clear understanding of your future partner's expectations. In short - be prepared. Not surprised.
Don't think such problems are bad for your marriage. Instead, accept them as part of married life. You will lead long, happy married life once you are fully prepared for such occasions of troubles, differences and conflicts.
That is where Premarital Counselling comes in – to prepare you for the unexpected.
Life is an examination, and everyone has his/her own question paper.
You can't copy from others because their answers will not be right for you. If you are not prepared, you will fail.
Instead of surprise, you will greet the problems with confidence and a sense of purpose. You will be like: 'I know how I will handle this'.
When you are prepared, you won't be overwhelmed by the surprises that life, especially marriage life will throw your way.
While premarital counselling can't prepare you for every surprise, it can prepare you for a good number of surprises that have destroyed several beautiful families.
Talk Out Your Expectations – Before it is Too Late
It is great having highly positive expectations from yourself, your spouse and from your family life. However, it is also great keeping those expectations based on reality. If you have unrealistic expectations, get the facts right – before you get tie the knot.
The expectations can be different from realities. Think about finances, family roles, and social relations. These are areas where most conflicts occur. One party thinks it necessary to visit relatives once every month, while the other party thinks it unnecessary. One thinks it OK to have a few loans, while the other thinks not.
If you have a clear idea about your own expectations and the expectations of your future partner, you will have little trouble. However, if such things come as a surprise, you will be overwhelmed.
Third Party Perspective – by a Professional
Counsellors, as professionals have seen several families and lives of people. When they tell you things about married life, it is from the experience of several dozens of other families. Listen to the words of wisdom by a professional counsellor. That is going to prepare you – to expect the unexpected.
See Problems Beforehand
When you talk to a counsellor, the counsellor will run a thorough analysis of your values, experiences and expectations. This will help you identify problem areas well in advance.
The differences in core values and expectations can create problems down the road. You don't want that to happen. The counsellor will tell you the areas of concern. This way, you can plan in advance – about the problems that you will definitely face in the future.
Strong, Positive and Realistic Expectations
When you base your expectations on reality, you will build strong, fruitful bonds. Both you can get a good understanding of each other. With this understanding, you will have positive expectations off each other.
In addition, when you are about to take important decisions, the advice you got will help you take clear decisions.
On the Downside – You May Cancel Your Marriage
If that happens, you save the trouble of family conflicts, tensions and the painful process of divorce.
When your personalities are not compatible, or the expectations are extremely hard to meet, you had better avoid the troubles and find a compatible partner. This is really good, as it can avoid a troublesome, unworkable relationship – and possibly a painful divorce.
Get into marriage prepared. Professional pre-marital counselling will help you avoid unpleasant surprises and prepare you for a happy, rewarding married life.
Our article published in Arogyapadmam Magazine - December 2018
Our Article published in Our KIDS Magazine-October 2018