HOW TO DEAL WITH RETIREMENT BLUES
30 October, 2021 (Consolace Counselling Services)
AGEING AND MENTAL HEALTH IN INDIA
"It's not how old you are, it's how you are old." -- Jules Renard
I am often reminded of this quote when I watch Mr. Rajeevan (name changed) at the bank.
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He is a bank manager in his late fifties. Today, as I reached the bank for some work, Mr Rajeevan waved at me in a hurry as he usually does. His tensed forehead, worried eyes and fidgeting hands speak a lot about his personality. I waved him back as he rushed back to his seat. I always felt as if he had something to share with me. We have known each other for quite some time as I made frequent visits to the bank for official purposes. I can tell you that he is no longer the same person whom I saw a few years back. These few months have brought great changes in him, maybe because his life is going to change in a few months as he is approaching his retirement days. I continued with my work as I thought about him and others like him who are in their fifties dealing with their own mental dilemma.
According to the article, 'The burden of Mental Disorders across the states of India: the Global Burden of Diseases Study 1990-2017' published in the Lancet; the prevalence of age specific depressive disorders increased with age in India in 2017. The highest prevalence was observed in the older adults (
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(19)30475-4/fulltext). Considering the Kerala scenario, we are an ageing state and according to the 2011 census, Kerala is ageing faster than the rest of the country. It is predicted that the proportion of senior citizens in Kerala will increase to 23% by 2036 (
https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/kerala/kerala-witnessing-a-demographic-transition/article35525769.ece). If we closely examine the older adults in our neighborhood or in our family, especially those in their 50s, we can see that they are indeed fighting their own mental battles and are thus often restless. Mr. Rajeevan is a clear example of the same. It was when I was thinking about all this, I heard a knock at my door. It was Mr. Rajeevan whom I saw in the morning. I welcomed him and offered him a seat. At first, he looked a bit hesitant. Somehow, I made him comfortable and he opened up to me. My intuition was right! It was his retirement that was worrying him. The very thought of life after retirement was making him anxious day by day. Let me share a few points that he discussed with me. I believe, every individual nearing retirement and their loved ones could relate to it.
● Not enough savings: Though, Mr. Rajeev will be retiring from a government service, he says he hasn't saved enough to take care of the growing financial needs of his family. As both his children are still unemployed, he is worried about the financial burden that would come with his retirement.
● Losing identity: He also sounded very anxious regarding losing his identity as well as the power that came with his job. He said, "Today, people respect me because I'm a Bank Manager but would they still respect me when I become a retired Bank Manager?, probably not!"
● Health related worries: As I talked to him I realized that he was constantly worried about his health after retirement. Lack of regular physical activity would deteriorate his physical health which in turn would affect his family.
● Dependency: Old age makes us dependent on others. So, fear of this dependency (both physical and financial) on the others was also disturbing him.
I shared some tips with Mr. Rajeev to help him deal with his retirement blues.
● Find purpose: Life doesn't end with retirement. It is true that when you're employed, you work to fulfill the purpose of your employment. But does that mean you lose your purpose with your retirement? Develop a new purpose and live to fulfill that.
● Work is not limited to retirement: You can still work after retirement as long as you are determined to work. Remember, Toni Morrison was 62 when she became the first African-American woman to win the Nobel prize for Literature.
● Trust your family: Have faith in your children. You have given them a good education, they will surely find a job to become financially stable. One can never be a burden on the family. Your family will love to take care of you after retirement the same way you took care of them before retirement.
● Invest in good health: Retirement is not an excuse to lose your health. Take care of your mental and physical health. Walk regularly, do not just sit idle. Develop new hobbies, practice relaxation techniques to calm your mind.
● Socialize more: Do not think that you'll lose connection with society once you start sitting at home after retirement. Socialize more. Join communities where you can contribute your ideas and knowledge. Keep in touch with the world around you. Do not isolate yourself just because you are a retiree.
● Seek help: The most important of all; if you are not able to deal with retirement blues on your own, seek help. Talk to someone whom you trust or with a professional who can help you just like Mr. Rajeev did. Do not suffer alone.
Also, these issues aren't just specific to someone like Mr. Rajeev who is dealing with retirement blues, but these are all very common to anyone in his/her fifties struggling to put their life together. Financial instability, old-age and dependency, health related issues etc can disturb the mental health of anyone nearing old age. All you need to do is find ways to overcome the worries. Remember, Age is just a number. When you think so, fifties aren't that scary and sixties can be sweet just as sixteens. Lead a meaningful life, live a happy life!