Personality differences in marriage

They say, 'The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.’ But no matter how hard we try, this question still lingers around in the minds of many us- Can two different personalities come together in a relationship? 

We often have qualms regarding the success of a relationship with someone who is different from ourselves as dealing with incompatible partners can be a bit difficult. Following are a few differences in personality traits which may create problems in married life.

Likes and Dislikes:

Partners might have different likes and dislikes when it comes to food habits, dressing sense, movie taste, favourite place, religious beliefs and much more. At some point in life these differences may lead to arguments.

Difference in characters:

Everybody can't be the same. Each person has his/her own character traits. For example, a combination of an introverted wife and an extroverted husband or vice versa may prove to be problematic in married life. If not always, but atleast at some particular point of time in life, this difference in personality traits of partners can turn out to be a risk factor in married life. Similarly, a punctual husband would not like his wife to be late. He would wish that his wife should get to places on time. The difference in behaviour, no matter how small it seem can leave a lasting impact on relationships.

Difference in opinion:

Couples having different viewpoints have to face disagreements on various issues. This may lead to quarrels which are not healthy for a relationship. However, one cannot deny the fact that couples having different personalities balance each other. They can be real support system for each other if they develop mutual respect and stop trying to impose their ways on their partners.

Tips for couples who have different personality traits:

The first thing that one has to understand is that 'It takes two to tango.’ Only one partner cannot make the marriage peaceful. Similarly, chaos in a relationship is caused when both the partners refuse to make adjustments. So, both the partners have to work together the lead a happy and stable married life.

• Many of us try to understand our partners but fail to respect their opinions and their ways. Mutual respect is a key ingredient for a compatible relationship.
• Learn to manage the differences. A relationship could not work out without compromise. Afterall, making little adjustments in life for the one you love is not a herculean task.
• Be careful while criticising your partner. You can criticise a specific behaviour or a situation. Complications occur when you go ahead and criticise your partner's personality. It may hurt their sentiments.
• Don't try to change your partner forcefully. One has to understand that some things can't be changed. In the process of changing your partner, you might lose them forever. Also, there's an advantage for couples with different personalities; that is they can always learn from each other.

“The happiest couples never have the same character—they just have the best understanding of their differences.” 

(Idea of this article is taken from the Malayalam article of Sandhya Rani published in 'Aarogyamangalam' Magazine-November 2017. To read in Malayalam click here)